April 17, 2014

Looking back from 80

Hell, when you are 80 it doesn't make a lot of sense to look anywhere but back does it!
I have a rather dramatic story to tell. I haven't lived an ordinary life although I suppose few people consider their life ordinary. We all have a story to tell. I intend to tell mine! I have given a lot of thought to how, when,  where it should be told and decided to do it within and as part of my blog. The  internet and the World Wide Web is such a wonderful, inviting, interesting, comfortable, and forgiving place for an 80 year old to let it all hang out that I have decided to do just that. These words are part of my fight against becoming invisible.  I also hope they will comfort an older women and help a younger woman  learn from my mistakes as well as my gumption. As my psychiatrist said "you are a survivor". I am that. I don't pretend to be a writer.

I wasn't born into kindness and I can't say I have had an easy life. However, at age 80 I am still putting one foot in front of the other (fairly confidently) and hopefully with a smile on my  face most of the time. I have been lucky or resourceful or clever or desperate enough to buy myself financial security. I assure all women this is of the utmost importance! It is bad enough to be a lonely old  woman but you definitely don't want to be a lonely POOR old woman. Hell, if I was poor I couldn't be dictating this into my iPhone while I lay in my very comfortable bed, in my rather luxurious apartment with my sweet (but expensive) little dog at my feet. I couldn't have travelled, wouldn't have seen the Acropolis, the Coliseum or talked to that Jewish man in Germany in 1990 or so. Females - earn your own money and save for your old age!  More and more of us are going to be alone in our old age. Money won't make you happy but it will make life bearable.
Despite being financially comfortable - despite having most of my marbles, despite having good physical health some good and interesting friends and a wonderful hobby I often feel very alone and lonely at 80. I am grateful but I can tell you 80 ain't easy for me. It may have to do with the life I have lived and the decisions I have made. That is for you to decide.

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